Log in

No account? Create an account

Lists lists lists

So today:
-clean my room (which is an utter disaster)
-clean the bathroom
-do laundry
-get chinchilla things
-go out with my sister and go see BRIDE WARS
-eat good food
-clean my chin's cage
-go out with zee boyfriend
whew!~ better go and get started

2 year surprise

So my lovely boyfriend has gotten me a chinchilla! I know what your thinking well not really, but I'm assuming that most reaction are curiosity. This lil rodent is an adorable ball of fur that is quite unique. I love her, her name is Moxie, and I'm going to be working to get her acqainted to me. She is quite shy but I hope to break her out of that. So I am also now a shift sup. and I absolutely love it. This is def. something I needed to bring a new level of excitement to my job. I also absolutely love my new manager and she's a christian which is awesome and is going to look out for me so I don't work every sunday. Things are going lovely, and tonight my sister, my boyfriend, and I are going to watch Grey's Anatomy (new episode!) and eat tacos. Also I have a day off, so no opening at 4 am. Ahhh this is the life!

I'm alive

Oh my goodness, I'm back to good ol' livejournal. It has been sooo long and I cannot believe the icon I still have, it will always remind me of me and my best friend. *sigh* well I am not really writing to anyone because I think most of my contacts on here have either died (no longer use this) or have gone down that dark road (myspace). I think for a time I will pick up here again, my sis seems to enjoy the forums so lets see.
what's past is past
what's done is done
that chapter is indeed closed on my life
i thought the difference was only going to be for a moment not realizing time has indeed gone on without me and what i narrowly thought of as my world
things are evidently different
there's a little sting in where i can feel that glass wall
im not angry, im not upset
i just had to step to realize its really happened
i hope you know i never stopped caring about you though it may have seemed that way
there's no way to change what has happened, and it seems we're both doing well
but i can't help but wonder if you're really ok
i know its time has lapsed without me there, and i know you're over it
but i remember that boy, that boy who i still sometimes see but maybe that boy is no longer there and before stands a shadow with a new owner
times have people change and grow this i understand
i just want you to know that i still stand as your friend, though i know while we can be brought back to our times, there have been times when we weren't together and we couldn't count on eachother
its weird and a little sad but its growth right?
sometimes life just goes by too fast in some parts and way too slow in others
like hanging out with someone you care about alot, you blink and its over
like when you have one hour left on your shift, you look at the clock expecting it be be over and yet the minute hand hasn't even flinched
you think that if you would have known better; things would have been different
if they would have been different than now, would they better or worse?
is everything that happens for us to retain for now or later?
is how we are made physically have to impact so much of our emotional and mental state?
im tired yet restless
im so done yet i want to start anew
i feel like such a let down at times
yet i will defend everything i do
i feel like me but not entirely today
i think thats what happens when you let the flesh come over you
hope someone else is having a better day

you're still my favorite sweater

is it true that he may think me the one?
this is kind of scary and kind of beautiful
something he said to me, maybe it was meant to be cryptic maybe it was meant to be straight out blatant... i don't know if i should revisit that just yet
he starting to be something of an extension of me, maybe its too early to think that way
he makes me smile in that at times we are in our own little world of thought and he won't let others interfere with that
only the Lord and time will tell, this we both agree
though we have put out small fires and healed paper cuts
And while this time has somewhat seperated me from others i genuinely care about
i know i can't explain, i have no words to excuse the change
i just hope that this time will not cause defined walls
understanding can sometimes be such an incoherent word
*oh the cleverness of my (only one person will get that)


Im really not that concerned in any of those areas because I am living day to day and trusting in Him to be guiding me and showing me what I need to do. I am finding more and more that I am no where near done in this life of what I am to be doing. Also there are the struggls that come that have hurt relationships before, or that have stopped relationships also. I don't wish for those things to thrive and I look to snuff them out, its hard and takes more time than I would like. I have to say I think I need a vacation from work, I think I may request some days off during my spring break. i don't know. well i think thats all for now, nothing really exciting. im heading out to citywalk today with the bf, which im happy about. and i believe thats all, not much but i enjoy it.

half hour to go

well life is definitely interesting, somewhere I never planned it to be. The thought of things being so temporary and others having the possibility of being permanent. What was silver will always be holding that gleam that it always has but is it possible there are more precious metals? is there treatment of the same or does one have priority? I'm allowing it in my life, somewhere they have never been, somewhere they have never allowed themselves to be. Do I make notice that I am a veteran rookie, and in that irony I have never been here before? And in that does it take away the special moment that it indeed was? I'm so scared of being forever removed, I don't want to live that way. Can I trust this is one where it will not be wasted. Its such a heavy chore making sure nothing gets broken but if I don't let it fall, will I see the beams of beauty that may reflect for there is always Someone there to catch me. Its only the beginning but I do want to make it past that. These are my thoughts...

small little box

thats where i keep myself sometimes too much. i should step out sometimes, let others see me with out my thick skin on. but i so scared sometimes. i hope you understand. things are def. changing, is this how its supposed to be. its nice, but its a real nice not something i had to make up to rationalize it. is this how its to be? its so crazy.
so times are changing, weird. i really don't want to blog about so im not but im just going to note that growing up is so different than what i thought it to be. it means things really aren't going to stay the same. soooo yeah life, so bittersweet.

Latest Month

January 2009